BREVARD COUNTY, FLORIDA – Park your reindeer, grab some eggnog and start hanging the lights. It’s Christmastime and that means it’s also time for the definitive list of Christmas movies.
If you don’t watch at least one of these movies every year, no Christmas for you. Santa won’t even bother giving you some carbon-based energy. You are on the naughty list.
First off, some rules. Lots of movies take place during Christmas. They might even feature Christmas in a significant way. But to be a true Christmas movie, you have to celebrate the spirit of the holiday.
I’m looking at you, “Die Hard.” Yes, we all feel good watching Hans Gruber go falling out the window of Nakatomi Plaza, watch in hand, but that’s hardly the spirit of peace on earth, good will toward men. Great movie, but it doesn’t count here. (Happy trails, Hans!)
The same goes for all the holiday horror flicks. “Silent Night, Deadly Night,” “Krampus” and even “The Nightmare Before Christmas” are all out. We want to sleigh, not slay. Ditto comedies like “Bad Santa” and “Home Alone.” A sexed-up, cursing, alcoholic Santa is hardly family fare. And violence, even slapstick violence, lacks that yuletide spirit.
We need classic, endearing, rewatchable movies to make this list. Not cinema. Movies. The kind you and your whole family can see again and again and leave wanting to be nice to your mean relatives and give till it hurts. That leaves out the Hallmark movies, too. They have made an awesome contribution to the annual celebration, but there isn’t a classic among them. Here they are, in order.
Let the festivities begin:
1. “Miracle on 34th Street”
Christmas and capitalism, together again, just like Macy’s and Gimbels. This gift-giving classic features Edmund Gwenn as the real-life Kris Kringle. Only Gwenn is so good at it that he probably studied for the part at the North Pole. The scene where he sings in Dutch to a war orphan is magical.
Maureen O’Hara plays the perfect cynical mom, and a young Natalie Wood is endearing as her brainy and mature daughter. The court scenes are superb and William Frawley, who most know as the sarcastic Fred Mertz of “I Love Lucy” fame, is marvelous as the judge’s political adviser. The ending might not be peace on earth, but it’s happiness for all concerned – even the Post Office.
2. “A Christmas Carol”
It doesn’t matter who you think played the best Scrooge – from Alastair Sim to Michael Caine – this is the quintessential Christmas movie. So perfect that there are enough versions for you to watch one a day from now till Christmas and you wouldn’t come close to being done.
Some of Hollywood’s best played the role of the greedy curmudgeon Ebenezer Scrooge – George C. Scott, Patrick Stewart and James Earl Jones. (Yes, both Capt. Jean-Luc Picard and Darth Vader took on the role.) Even Bugs Bunny villain Yosemite Sam took a turn. The movie was the very essence of a Hollywood redemption arc. There isn’t one of us so vile that he can’t be saved in just one night with some potent Christmas magic.
These are the films that put “Bah! Humbug” into Christmas and then surgically removed it.
3. “Elf”
“Elf” is a modern Christmas story that pulls together the innocence of Santa Claus with some goofy comedy. Of all the movies on this list, it seems to be the one most endearing to kids.
Will Ferrell gets the role of a lifetime as Buddy, who grew up in the North Pole but is human, not an elf. When he goes to find his real dad – the Scrooge-like James Caan – hilarity ensues. Ferrell mixes youthful exuberance with perfect comic timing to do something Hollywood rarely does, create a new classic.
Like other amazing Christmas movies, it’s not just Ferrell who makes this work. It’s a supporting cast of Ed Asner (Santa), Mary Steenburgen and comedy giant Bob Newhart as the head elf and narrator. Movie fans might be shocked to find special effects expert Ray Harryhausen doing a voice in the movie. It’s an added present.
Don’t put “Elf” on a shelf. Try your DVD player or streaming service instead.
4. “It’s a Wonderful life”
Jimmy Stewart was Hollywood’s perfect everyman. He didn’t just take on a role, he became the embodiment of that character.
In “Wonderful Life,” he plays George Bailey who runs a small-town building and loan. His uncle Billy misplaces $8,000 which is stolen by the town villain. It’s the last straw for George who feels trapped by the life he chose and contemplates giving up. Instead, he is saved by a rookie angel who gives him his wish and shows him the world of Bedford Falls as if George had never been born.
The town became a nightmare with even its name bearing the villain’s stamp. His wife, who now never married, and the grave of the brother he had saved from drowning remind him what a wonderful life he had after all. He begs the angel Clarence for another chance and finds that the town has rallied to him to replace the missing money.
This is one of the most life-affirming movies ever made. It even ends around a Christmas tree with everyone throwing money into a basket as the crowd sings. It’s directed by Frank Capra and it exudes his charm in every scene.
5. “White Christmas”
If you ever dreamed of a white Christmas, this movie is for you. It’s got Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye, which should be enough for anyone. There’s singing, dancing, patriotism and love. And the script is a dream. When Kaye tries to set up Bing with a dancing girl, Bing remarks that she’s not especially smart. Kaye responds that she didn’t go to Smith. Bing: “Go to Smith? She couldn’t even spell it.”
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